Tuesday, May 27, 2014

First Day of Therapy

So, I began seeing my therapist again today.

I had seen her quite some time ago for some other issues not related to my cross dressing, and we both agreed that my time with her was done when we were essentially spending most of our session chatting about stuff instead of doing anything therapeutic.  While I love chatting with her (she's damn smart, easy to talk to and definitely makes one think), I figured it wasn't really fair to charge my insurance company for a chat buddy :)

So after a couple of incidents where I was going into an unpleasant state of mind because of a few things that happened around the house, I and my wife figured it was time to actually get some professional help dealing with, not the cross dressing itself, but with the emotional issues surrounding it, particularly relating to my father's actions when and after he caught me. 

The first session was really good.  We did spend a little time catching up and talking like old friends, but not a whole lot.  I was nervous and somewhat unprepared (she called me with a last-minute cancellation and I was totally not ready for it, but I jumped at the opportunity anyways), but we are working on a plan to help me deal with the crappy emotional feedback I feel whenever I start to feel that my dressing is hurting someone or making them uncomfortable.

Yesterday, we had some company over.  My wife was folding some towels that had gotten left in the dryer, when she came across a pair of my panties.  At first, she thought they were hers, but didn't recognize them.  After she realized they were mine, she quietly called me into our room where she handed them to me and told me where she found them.  Now one of our agreed upon boundaries is that I do my own laundry of my girl clothes.  I had done some the day before and apparently missed a pair of panties in the dryer.

She could have made me feel like shit.  She could have been cold and nasty about it, or even cold and formal and disapproving.

Instead, she giggled about it with me.  I apologized, and she just smiled and said it was ok, and we laughed together about it.  See why I love my wife?  She could have tossed me into one of those nasty little feedback loops where I felt like shit, but she didn't want me to hurt.  So she found the humor in it and shared it with me and we laughed together.

She'd better be careful or I might start to actually feel good about myself again :)

And that's why I love my wife.

More therapy every week for a while, so probably some more posts here and there.



  1. That sounds so good - from talking to your therapist (who sounds like someone that is really worth knowing) to your wife's reactions to your panties popping up.

    Did you tell your therapist that you were coming back to her because of your crossdressing beforehand or did you tell her during the session? What was her reaction? (And I am using 'because of your crossdressing' as shorthand for 'because of all the crap that is washing around inside you because of what your father did to you that is mixed up with your crossdressing' because that takes to long to type out)
    I have said it before and I will no doubt say it again, but your wife is utterly wonderful. She handled that situation so well and so very sensibly. You can see the love you have for each other shining out of the screen - she knows that you will not have done it on purpose (although I am sure that you will be checking the dryer twice for errant lingerie from now on!) and she made sure that you knew that it was okay. Although you probably shouldn't make a habit of it. And frankly, wearing a habit it probably a bit too kinky...

    And you absolutely should feel good about yourself! You are an utterly adorable girl. And I assume you are a really nice guy as well, because you wouldn't be such a nice girl if you weren't!

    1. Thanks, ell :) I'm getting to feel better about things in general. Sorry I haven't been around as much. Work is taking a lot of my time and I'm spending more with my wife, which is good. I'll be around more soon, I hope. Looking forward to a good long chat at some point. Gotta run to work now, so hugs and all that stuffs!