Monday, May 12, 2014

Coming Out, Part III


Yesterday was interesting!

So I had planned to tell Joan today, but events got away from me a bit.  I was sitting in my office and she knocked on the door (we have a rule about closed doors to our offices), so I just said, "Come in" like I did thousands of times before.

No, I wasn't all dressed up (I hadn't been since she got home Saturday).  She came in and there was a box with a pair of flats and a purple blouse I had bought that I was sending back to Amazon.  Joan noticed the box and said, "What's this," and opened it to look.  So much for my carefully laid plans of revelation.

Eager to regain some semblance of control, I told her to have a seat, we needed to talk about something.  Of course, she became apprehensive, so I rushed to tell her it wasn't anything horrible, I wasn't leaving her, I wasn't sick.  I explained to her about my brief history of crossdressing, briefly explained about my one encounter with the lovely crossdresser (she already knew about the encounter, but not the salient details), and that I wanted to continue dressing.  I was awkward, hesitant, and she finally asked flat out, "Is it clothing?"  I heave a sigh of relief and said yes.  Then I waited.

Her initial response was... "No big deal."

So far so good :)  We talked a little more and she admitted it took her somewhat by surprise.  She really wasn't sure how she'd deal with it if she actually saw me dressed (an understandable response), and that we would see how things went.

A couple of hours later, I took her aside in our bedroom and asked if we were ok.  That was a mistake.  I should have just given her more time before I brought it up again.  Things got a little tense and I told her I wouldn't bring it up again until she did.

Fast forward to dinner time.  She and I were in the kitchen, and she started talking to me.  She apologized for being bitchy, I told her it was understandable given the surprise I had popped on her.  I won't go into too many details, but she did say that she didn't want to give the impression that she would not accept me just as I am, because she did.

That's the important part.  I think we're kind of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" but it's not a hostile thing like it's been with some girls I've talked to.  It's more of a cautious feeling our way along kind of thing, and that's good.

We resolved that if I wanted to spend time dressed, for now, I'd simply get a hotel for the weekend. I was to do my own laundry of my delicates, but I could keep them in my dresser in our room.  Sadly, this means no more evenings curled up in a pretty skirt in front of the TV, but it's worth it to keep her.  Joan is my love, and I want to make this comfortable for her, as well as fulfilling my own needs.

So all in all, the Coming Out story has a happy ending for now.  There's still my family and friends (besides Abby, of course) to think about, but that's for another day.  I'm still married, and will be for the foreseeable future, and I didn't sleep on the couch last night.

All in all a good day.

1 comment:

  1. I am so happy that it went so well (which I think is probably about as well as could be expected) and that Joan has been as understanding as she obviously has been. She's a very special woman. Her reaction was very positive and I think that things may well get better faster than you think. But don't hold your breath...
    One day at a time is the only way to take it. Both you and Joan deserve huge hugs for the way you've handled it.
    However, the bit about the Amazon box... that's just really bad luck. (Although I have to admit I giggled) The best laid plans of mice and tgirls... But we've all done it. And at least it got it out there, even if it wasn't quite to the timetable you had planned. Silver linings and all that. (I know the reasons for the delay and they were very sensible. But it also might have given you time to over-think it and perhaps even back out. This way, it was pretty much a fait accompli.)