Well, curious reader, it's amazing what difference a few days can make.
Joan and I have been talking steadily. One ground rule that I've made is that I won't bring up the topic, but will wait for her to decide she's comfortable enough to talk. Of course, this doesn't completely preclude my mentioning it, just any significant, substantive conversations will be started by her. This helps her maintain a comfort level, which is really important to her accepting all this.
So the topic has come up every day, sometimes a couple of times a day, since my last post. We've talked about all kinds of things. I've reassured her that she is still first in my heart and will always be that way. I've reassured her that I'm not gay, nor likely to decide I am any time in the future. She's reassured me that I have her love and nothing is going to change that (a huge thing for me!), and that we are not going to split up over this.
We've talked about some girly things (she wants us to do a manicure/pedicure together!) and I asked about waxing and how painful it was. All in all, it's been a great few days.
I've had a few "What the hell am I doing," moments, but working through those as they happen.
I've stopped biting my fingernails (!), a habit since I was 10 or so.
I'm determined to clean up my office and make it a nice safe place for Megan to come out occasionally at home. I don't think Joan will be ready to meet Megan any time soon, so I only get to be her from time to time. Not the best situation in the world, but you know... if it never gets any better than this, I could live happily like this with my wife forever. I'll still have my time as Megan, and she'll still have her husband.
So I think the whole coming out story line is about over for now. Now it's just the day-to-day living part. I'm sure I'll have some adventures I'll post here, and some hard times I'll work through here.
For now, I have my wife who loves me, my friend Abby who is going to help me through a lot, and my online friends Ellen and Megan (yes, another one, no I don't have a split personality) to chat with from time to time.
Life is good.