So what do I make of this?

So tonight, we were on our way home from going out a bit. 

One of our boundaries is that, when it comes to my girl clothes, I am responsible for my own laundry.  No big deal.

So I remembered that I needed to do some laundry, and asked my wife if the washer was going to be free tonight.  She said yes, and I reassured her that I would make sure my clothes were out of the dryer in the morning, before she got up.  She replied, "Oh that's fine.  If I need to do some laundry, I'll just wait till Thursday if your stuff is still in the dryer."

Now, I'm trying to not take things badly.  I really am.  I don't want to take things the wrong way, and I don't want to start any arguments, particularly since it's late.  But she would rather wait an extra day to do her laundry rather than sully her pristine little digits by removing a few pairs of panties from the dryer to make room for her laundry.  Panties, I might add, that are very little different from the ones she wears every day.

Is she really that disgusted by the thought that the panties are mine and not hers that she won't even look at them, in fact will wait a whole additional day so that I can remove these filthy disgusting garments from the dryer?

She still calls my crossdressing, "that thing you do" or "the stuff you do," rather than call it what it is.

I'm still relegated to dressing late at night after she's gone to bed, and only in my office, just so there's no chance that she will lay her innocent eyes on me wearing anything less than manly.

I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt here, honest I am.  But how else am I supposed to take these things?  I see very little sign of flexibility in her.  I see very little sign that these boundaries will ever change.  The boundaries that seem to be only around me, not around her.  The boundaries that seem to be for her comfort and protection, never mine.

Color me sad, frustrated, a little resentful.

It's been a while

It's been a while, both since I posted and since I've had a chance to be Megan for a while.  Between work pressures and family pressures, there just hasn't been enough private time.  Tonight, after dinner, I told my lovely wife that I needed some alone time.  Well, honestly, I sort of hemmed and hawed as she said goodnight that she finally figured out what I wanted.  I still hesitate to tell her, not because she'll disapprove, but because it would make her a little uncomfortable. 

Well the lovely, perceptive woman she is, she figured it out and immediately put me at ease.  She went off to bed smiling and I went off to my office smiling.

Today's been a day and frankly, I could use some pretty time.  Normally, I'll just slip on a skirt and blouse and maybe my flats and just relax in my office.  Tonight, though, I went a bit more elegant.  Stockings and my heels, and my pretty black skirt and purple blouse (I really need some more tops!)

I feel wonderful.

I've been thinking again that maybe it was time to let it go.  I hadn't realized until I got dressed up tonight how silly an idea that is.  There are days when I need this feeling; when I need to feel pretty and feminine (looks to the contrary).  Especially after a day like today.  Not going to go into a lot of details, but suffice to say it was a very long day at work and I left a lot undone when I left that will just have to wait till tomorrow.  Twelve hours is quite enough, says I.

So here I am, feeling pretty and feminine and kind of sexy! (It's the stockings and heels... must be!)  I love how the skirt feels as it brushes against the stockings, and I love just feeling pretty.

So no, I don't think this is something I can (or want to) quit.  It's too much me to do that.  Now, I'm off be a geeky little girl and play some video games!