Saturday, May 10, 2014

Coming Out, Part II

I had another meeting with Abby later that week.  She dropped by in the morning, and we had a couple of hours to talk and laugh.  I got an impromptu lesson in how to sit more ladylike, which I enjoyed and have been practicing. 

I also asked her advice about to to come out to my wife. 

We talked about that for a good while.  She's known my wife (we'll call her Joan) as long as she's known me.  Joan is a warm, loving person.  We've been through a lot together.  She's bisexual herself, and knows about my recent bisexual explorations, but not what came out of them (that is, my crossdressing).  While my dressing is not the most important thing in my life, it is definitely important to me.  I like how I feel when I do it, and don't want to give it up.

That said, if Joan asks me to, I'm going to try.  Not out of guilt or shame, but out of love for her.  If I did it once from guilt, I can do it again, from love. 

I think in my head, she'll be understanding and loving.  I think I can reasonably hope for amused tolerance, and maybe a bit more.

Emotionally, I'm terrified of telling her.  A lot of it comes from the last time a family member discovered my dressing, and I know it's a visceral reaction, not one borne of reason or faith in her love for me.  So I keep that scared part of me warm and safe, and hope for the best.

This is too significant to try and hide it, and damn near impossible for a significant length of time. 

Stay tuned to this spot for Coming Out, Part III!

1 comment:

  1. I am so enjoying following your journey here, as well as through talking to you. I am so glad that you have someone like Abby to confide in and get advice from.
    I understand totally your nervousness about telling Joan and I hope you manage to overcome it and do tell her and that her response is everything you could hope for. I am sure she will be able to see that Megan is just part of who you are and that it doesn't change you as a person in anyway. Megan has always been there, she's just been hidden a long way down. And, because she had always been there, she has shaped your personality, so Joan has come to love the male you in part because of the female you that is there. I hope that she comes to love the female part as much.