Tuesday, June 24, 2014

So what do I make of this?

So tonight, we were on our way home from going out a bit. 

One of our boundaries is that, when it comes to my girl clothes, I am responsible for my own laundry.  No big deal.

So I remembered that I needed to do some laundry, and asked my wife if the washer was going to be free tonight.  She said yes, and I reassured her that I would make sure my clothes were out of the dryer in the morning, before she got up.  She replied, "Oh that's fine.  If I need to do some laundry, I'll just wait till Thursday if your stuff is still in the dryer."

Now, I'm trying to not take things badly.  I really am.  I don't want to take things the wrong way, and I don't want to start any arguments, particularly since it's late.  But she would rather wait an extra day to do her laundry rather than sully her pristine little digits by removing a few pairs of panties from the dryer to make room for her laundry.  Panties, I might add, that are very little different from the ones she wears every day.

Is she really that disgusted by the thought that the panties are mine and not hers that she won't even look at them, in fact will wait a whole additional day so that I can remove these filthy disgusting garments from the dryer?

She still calls my crossdressing, "that thing you do" or "the stuff you do," rather than call it what it is.

I'm still relegated to dressing late at night after she's gone to bed, and only in my office, just so there's no chance that she will lay her innocent eyes on me wearing anything less than manly.

I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt here, honest I am.  But how else am I supposed to take these things?  I see very little sign of flexibility in her.  I see very little sign that these boundaries will ever change.  The boundaries that seem to be only around me, not around her.  The boundaries that seem to be for her comfort and protection, never mine.

Color me sad, frustrated, a little resentful.

4 comments:

  1. I hate the comment posting thing... I had written a long reply and it seems to have been eaten by the system...

    Try again...

    I've been thinking about what you have said for a few days now, trying to work out what to say. I still don't think I've got it quite right, but here goes. (Please remember that I adore you and don't want to upset you. If I do, then I am really, truly sorry)
    Firstly, I think you might be over-reacting a little. You are both in the very early stages of coming to terms with your crossdressing and what it means. And you have a lot of issues to deal about how you yourself feel about it all. I think that this might well mean that negative comments will get blown up out of proportion. Reading what you said, I don't see any particular slight against you. I think it could just as easily be read as wanting to do you a favour - she didn't want you to have to get up early to sort out the washing. Did she know that it was 'just a few pairs of panties' or could she have thought that it was a full load of washing? And, if her own washing isn't urgent, then she's just letting you know that it isn't important.
    And, don't forget that she took you for a pedicure - which is surely more a demonstration of her acceptance than folding up panties. It's a lot more public and for the time you had the varnish on your toes, I would wager that she will have seen it on a fairly regular basis.
    As for what she calls your crossdressing - does she actually know the correct terminology? Her terms are a bit dismissive, but maybe she doesn't know what to say. And, if you stick to your agreement that you will never bring it up first, she's never going to know what the correct terms are. She will never know how you feel when she appears to dismiss it like that.
    Basically, what you have said here reads to me like there has been a breakdown in communications with neither one of you saying what you think or feel. It has a more obvious effect on you because you are the one relegated to dressing late at night in your office but I am sure that she will not be feeling happy with the situation either. If you don't talk about it then it's never going to improve and will probably get worse. You have all these questions and thoughts in your head. There is only person who can answer them for you and you won't talk to her.

    On top of everything else you have to remember this: she is the woman you love more than anything else. She is worth all of this and more.
    And so are you.

    Ellen.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, hon. I figured all this out, too. Talked to my counselor about it, and we came to the same conclusion. Dee didn't mean anything bad by it. The good thing is that I didn't make a big deal out of it. I'm getting better at thinking things through instead of just reacting. But thanks for taking the time to post on it! I appreciate your point of view a lot :)

      Megan

      Delete
  2. I hate the comment posting thing... I had written a long reply and it seems to have been eaten by the system...

    Try again...

    I've been thinking about what you have said for a few days now, trying to work out what to say. I still don't think I've got it quite right, but here goes. (Please remember that I adore you and don't want to upset you. If I do, then I am really, truly sorry)
    Firstly, I think you might be over-reacting a little. You are both in the very early stages of coming to terms with your crossdressing and what it means. And you have a lot of issues to deal about how you yourself feel about it all. I think that this might well mean that negative comments will get blown up out of proportion. Reading what you said, I don't see any particular slight against you. I think it could just as easily be read as wanting to do you a favour - she didn't want you to have to get up early to sort out the washing. Did she know that it was 'just a few pairs of panties' or could she have thought that it was a full load of washing? And, if her own washing isn't urgent, then she's just letting you know that it isn't important.
    And, don't forget that she took you for a pedicure - which is surely more a demonstration of her acceptance than folding up panties. It's a lot more public and for the time you had the varnish on your toes, I would wager that she will have seen it on a fairly regular basis.
    As for what she calls your crossdressing - does she actually know the correct terminology? Her terms are a bit dismissive, but maybe she doesn't know what to say. And, if you stick to your agreement that you will never bring it up first, she's never going to know what the correct terms are. She will never know how you feel when she appears to dismiss it like that.
    Basically, what you have said here reads to me like there has been a breakdown in communications with neither one of you saying what you think or feel. It has a more obvious effect on you because you are the one relegated to dressing late at night in your office but I am sure that she will not be feeling happy with the situation either. If you don't talk about it then it's never going to improve and will probably get worse. You have all these questions and thoughts in your head. There is only person who can answer them for you and you won't talk to her.

    On top of everything else you have to remember this: she is the woman you love more than anything else. She is worth all of this and more.
    And so are you.

    Ellen.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm really glad of that. I had faith that you would work it out because [patronise]you're a clever girl[/patronise].

    ReplyDelete